An Unexpected Match Page 24

  She opened the door and Bagel exploded onto the porch. His frenzied barking turned to excited whines as he greeted first Rachel, then Rob.

  “Hey, little guy.” Rob bent and rubbed the dog’s head. Bagel made happy sounds, and then turned and raced down the stairs. As soon as he attended to nature, he raced back to them and followed them into the house.

  Rachel went to the kitchen table and sat. Rob took the chair next to hers, angling so he faced her. Bagel came over and sat on the floor between them, looking up at first one, then the other.

  Rob gave him another head rub. “I was waiting for about an hour. He barked the whole time.”

  “Really, Bagel?” Rachel shook her head at the dog. “No wonder you had to move.”

  Bagel grinned and collapsed at their feet. All that barking had worn him out.

  Rob gripped Rachel’s hands and she gripped back. He’d missed her this past week with an intensity that surprised him. Her sweet smile, her gentle manner, her sharp mind—when he couldn’t enjoy them, he felt a hole inside.

  “I’m not a liar, Rob.” Her face was flushed with intensity, making her even lovelier than usual. “I’m not. I never intended to deceive. I just wanted to learn.”

  “I know. It just hit me hard the other night, you not being what I thought.” He’d felt like he’d been punched in the gut when he understood the significance of that dress and the scarf and the lamps and the plain walls. “I needed time to think, to analyze, not just you but me.”

  “Your father.”

  Rob held up a hand to stop her. “My father has nothing to do with this. With us.”

  “How can he not? He deceived you. I deceived you. But I didn’t mean to. I am what you thought. Really I am.” Her face twisted. “And that sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it, knowing what you know of me?”

  “No.” He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. “You may have been changing clothes and lives, but you were being you.”

  She started to cry, slow tears that ran down her cheeks. “Tears of relief,” she said as she reached for a napkin sitting in a holder on the table to blot her face.

  “I didn’t realize you were such a crier,” he said. “I’m learning something new about you.”

  She gave a little laugh. “I’m usually not. It’s just this week…”

  He nodded. “I know. Mine too.”

  “You felt unhappy and confused?” The thought seemed to make her happy.

  “Morose and discombobulated.”

  “It was never meant to be a big secret, you know,” she said. “It was meant to be an adventure. The beginning of realizing a dream. Then you showed up, and I didn’t know how to say, ‘Oh, by the way, I’m Amish.’ The longer I didn’t say it, the more impossible it became without ruining everything.”

  He studied her with her big brown eyes and earnest expression and those kissable lips. “So now I know the truth and the question is: Is everything ruined? Do we have a chance?”

  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He knew the answer would cost her dearly whichever answer she gave.

  She gripped his hand. “We have a chance. More than a chance, I hope.”

  He felt the tension leave his shoulders. He’d thought all week about the idea of giving her the opportunity to make her choice. What if she chose for her People and against him? It was simpler to make the choice himself. That way he could feel he’d been in control. Say no before she said no and be spared the humiliation and hurt of being rejected.

  When Win had articulated what he in his anger and hurt hadn’t realized, he’d been forced to take the time to ponder. He’d come to the conclusion Win was right. It wasn’t about him and his pride. It wasn’t about her hidden life. It was about the fact that he loved her. It was about their future. And it was about offering forgiveness for hurts given. It was about acknowledging that the hurts were unintentional and that she hurt as much or more than he did.

  We have a chance. More than a chance.

  He reached out and pulled off her white scarf. She made a surprised noise and reached for her head. When her hand touched her uncovered hair, she closed her eyes for a moment. Then she looked at him and smiled a somewhat sad and thoughtful smile. She took the scarf and began folding it into a small square.

  “It’s all for faith and family, you know. All the rules. Keep the family close by controlling what they do and where they go. Keep the faith strong by prescribing how you can live and believe.”

  “I get that. Just don’t forget I believe in faith and family too, even when family is hard.” And his was hard.

  “Mine is wonderful. That’s part of what makes this so difficult.” Her face crinkled as if she was about to cry again, but all she did was blink hard.

  “They’re all Amish?”

  “All but Johnny.”

  “All my family are nuts.”

  “Rob!” She looked shocked, but then she’d never met them. “Win’s a nice guy. I know that even if I don’t know the others.”

  “Okay, so Win’s a good guy. He’s improving. He’s got a job.” Rob heard the pride in his voice.

  Rachel smiled. “Good for him. He’s going to be all right, especially with you to help him.”

  She was giving him more credit than he deserved, but he was glad he could say, “I’m letting him live with me.”

  Rachel scooted her chair closer, and their knees bumped. “Good for you.”

  He swallowed. “Mom’s having a fit. She doesn’t want to be alone.”

  “Some people don’t like being alone.”

  “You’ll have to deal with her.” He knew that was a presumptive statement, but he thought he was safe making it. “She’ll drive you crazy.”

  “Maybe. I’d like to meet her. And your dad.”

  “Are you sure?” He tried to picture her going through the process of getting into Allenwood. She’d probably breeze through.

  She nodded. “Will you meet my family?”

  “Really?” He’d expected her relatives would remain this nebulous presence behind the scenes, shadow people he’d never know because of their lifestyle. “Will they meet me? Will they like me?”

  “Of course they’ll like you, but they won’t like us.”

  He pulled her into his lap. “So there will be an us? Because you need to know that I love you and want there to be an us.”

  She rested her forehead against his. “I love you too, Rob. And I want there to be an us.”

  “Then there will be.” He kissed her. She leaned into him and he felt happy, content, holding her. “You realize this is a marriage proposal?”

  “I do.” She sighed. “And I accept.”

  “I don’t have a ring for you.” With his uncertainty how he would be received, a ring was the last thing on his mind.

  “I’ve never worn a ring in my life. Even wearing a wedding band would be a big step. A diamond would feel scandalous.”

  While he was thinking about the great cultural chasm she had to cross for him and for her education, there was a sharp rap on the door. Bagel surged to his feet doing what he did best. He rushed across the room, nails snick, snicking as he went.

  Rob gave Rachel a last squeeze as she got to her feet. She gave him a strange look before she moved to the door. It almost seemed she was afraid. He stood and followed her.

  “Jonah.” Rachel stepped back from the door. “Come in.”

  A dark-haired Amishman stepped into the room. “Miriam said—” He stopped when he saw Rob.

  “Rob, this is my brother, Jonah. Jonah, Rob Lanier.”

  Rob held out his hand and after the barest of hesitations, Jonah shook it.

  “We were just sitting at the table talking,” Rachel said. “Come join us.”

  Jonah looked uncomfortable. “I need to talk to you, Rachel.” He shot Rob a look. “Just you.”

  “I know.” She turned to the table. “Come. Sit.”

  “I…I should go.” Rob took a step toward the door.

&n
bsp; Rachel grabbed his hand. “No. Stay.”

  He understood she had just made a declaration with that touch and those words. He smiled at her. She smiled back, her heart in her eyes. It was one of those strange moments when everything was said with a look.

  She dropped his hand and walked to the table. He followed and they took the chairs they’d had before. Jonah stood by the door for a moment before he took the chair across from Rachel. It was obvious from his expression that he understood Rachel’s declaration too.

  “Rachel,” he began and stalled.

  “I know, Jonah,” she said. “I know.”

  “I don’t have a choice.”

  “I know.” She looked at Rob. “Jonah’s a deacon.”

  Rob knew he was supposed to know what that meant, but he wasn’t certain. Did it mean her own brother would oversee her shunning?

  “What about your vows, Rachel?” Jonah asked.

  “I’m not turning my back on Gott. I believe as strongly as ever.”

  “How can you and leave the Gmay?”

  “It isn’t the Gmay that saves me.”

  “But you vowed to serve Gott through the Gmay.”

  Rachel closed her eyes, a pained expression on her face. “I know. And I admit that I struggle with that.”

  Jonah sat back, his face suddenly stern. “I knew that devil’s television would corrupt you.”

  “I am not watching television, Jonah,” Rachel’s voice was firm.

  He looked unconvinced, and she shook her head at him. She took a deep breath. “I’m going to college.”

  She’d shocked him. “Rachel!”

  “That’s where I met Rob.” She turned to him and smiled, and he couldn’t resist covering her hand with his.

  Jonah’s scowl intensified as he saw the contact. “And that’s where you met the woman who’s staying with you?”

  “Amy. Yes.”

  “Mom said you wouldn’t say how you met. Now I know why.”

  “Now you know why. You need to know, Jonah, that I plan to finish college and become a professor.”

  Jonah turned to Rob. “This is your doing.”

  Rob understood Jonah needed something, someone to blame, so he didn’t defend himself. Rachel did.

  “Jonah, I went to Wexford before I met Rob. But after I met him, I admit he complicated things.” She glanced at him and gave an impish smile. “A lot.”

  “So you will leave the Gmay for him.” Jonah looked sad rather than mad.

  “I will leave the Gmay only because they will not let me stay and follow the plan I believe God has for me. Jonah, I can’t explain the excitement I feel when I go to class. It’s like I come alive. I feel I’m finally using the gifts God gave me. I’m becoming the person God made me.”

  “I have worried you might leave us because of your mind.” Jonah stared at the scarf lying on the table. “I have been afraid your intellect would lead you astray. When you married Aaron, I thought you were safe.”

  “But I was hiding such a big part of who I am, even from him.”

  “We are to bring every thought into submission.”

  “Submission to what, Jonah? The Gmay or to God?”

  “Be careful, Rachel. Heresy lurks just around the corner. The world is dangerous and the people in it.” He looked at Rob who blinked. He’d never been called dangerous before.

  “Jonah, I love you. I love Mom and Datt. I love the gemeinde. And I love God no less today than I did yesterday.”

  “But,” Jonah said, standing.

  “But,” Rachel agreed.

  He nodded, and Rob could see tears in his eyes. Suddenly he turned a fierce expression on Rob.

  “You’d better be good to her.” And he stalked out of the house.

  Chapter 36

  Rachel stared at the closed door. She’d done it. She’d spoken the words that would mean severed ties with her People. They would no longer be her People. She stood quietly for a moment, trying to analyze how she felt.

  Her heart was weighted with a deep sorrow that such a choice had to be made. Even in the loss she knew no other choice was possible given her circumstances, and she felt a whisper of excitement about what was to come next. She glanced at Rob and that whisper became a gale, blowing all the possibilities of the future into her heart. She moved to his side.

  His arm came out and circled her waist. “You okay? I know that was hard.”

  He had no idea. “Hold me?” She needed his comfort.

  “With pleasure.” He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She rested her head on his shoulder.

  “How come making huge decisions sounds so ordinary?” she asked. “You use ordinary words, but extraordinary things happen. We have a chance. I said that to you, and now we’re going to get married. All I said to Jonah was But and I will no longer be part of the Gmay. Ordinary words. Extraordinary ramifications.”

  Rob gave a cough of laughter, and she felt the rumble in his chest. She frowned at him. “Are you making fun of me?”

  “Absolutely not. I’m just surprised at your comment.” He ran a finger down her cheek. “I expect I’m in for a lifetime of interesting and unexpected observations.”

  “Probably. I’ve always been strange that way.”

  “Not strange. Special.”

  “Oh. That’s good.” And it was. She wouldn’t have to guard her every word or thought. What a relief that would be.

  She stood and grabbed his hand to pull him to his feet. “We have to go see my parents. They need to hear about all this from me, not from Jonah or Miriam or through gossip.”

  Rob nodded. He began fiddling with her hair, trying to undo the knot. “Let it loose. Please.”

  She understood that having her hair down was somehow symbolic for him. She began pulling the pins free. She remembered that first evening of school when she let her hair free for the first time. Loose hair didn’t have to be a symbol of a loose life. But it was certainly the sign of a changed life.

  As her hair fell over her shoulders and down her back, Rob grabbed a fistful and pulled her close for a quick kiss. “I love your hair. I love you.”

  They walked down the road to the farm, fingers threaded.

  “You doing okay?” Rob asked.

  She gave him a sad smile. “This is going to be so hard.”

  “Will they be mad?”

  She shook her head. “Disappointed. Hurt. They won’t understand how I could possibly choose to leave the community.”

  “How severe will the shunning be?”

  “Oh, I think they will still love me, still visit with me, but I can no longer eat with them or work with them. I will be outside the everyday rhythms of their lives and the lives of the people I’ve known all my life. That distance will be the hardest.”

  They turned up the farm lane.

  “Should I ask your father for your hand in marriage?” Rob asked. “Is that something the Amish culture does?”

  Her heart swelled with love. “You would do that? Knowing he won’t like the idea and would have to say no?”

  “Isn’t that all the more reason to? I’d like him and your mother to like me at least a little bit.”

  She went up on tiptoe and kissed him. He held her close.

  “I know this is costing you, Rachel. I promise I’ll do everything I can to make the losses you suffer less painful.”

  His comment touched her deeply. “You’re just saying that so I’ll kiss you out of gratitude.”

  He grinned. “Is it working?”

  She kissed him again.

  “Ah-ha! I knew it was you.” Levi stood in the lane, a little outhouse in his arms.

  Rachel stepped away from Rob and eyed her brother. “You knew what was me?”

  “That day in the car when the turkeys had you surrounded. That was you with your hair down and wearing Englisch clothes.” He looked her up and down. “Your hair’s free again.”

  “Well, you see—” She stalled out.

  Ro
b came to her rescue. He stuck out his hand. “Hi. I’m Rob Lanier.”

  Levi offered his hand in return, sawdust falling from his shirt cuff as he did. “Levi Miller. Her brother.” He bobbed his head toward Rachel. “I make outhouses.”

  “For very little people?” Rob smiled.

  “For tourists. You her boyfriend?”

  “Her fiancé.”

  Levi nodded. “I knew she was going to leave.”

  “What do you mean, you knew?” Rachel was surprised. She thought she’d kept her lives successfully separate.

  “I told Mom and Datt you would. I didn’t tell them about you in the car, but I told them to be prepared. I thought it would be your girlfriend who led you into the world. I didn’t realize it would be a guy.”

  “Rob isn’t why I have chosen to…become Englisch. Well, he isn’t the only reason.” She swallowed. “I’m going to college.”

  He nodded with a definite lack of surprise. “Is that where you drive in Mr. Englerth’s car?”

  “You know about the car?”

  “I’m every bit as smart as you, Rachel. I’m good at knowing things. At seeing things. But I’m never leaving the Gmay. I want to be an Amish farmer.”

  “I loved being Amish too, Levi.” She felt a catch in her heart at the past tense.

  “But?”

  “But.”

  Levi set his outhouse down. “Want me to go warn the parents? Tell him there’s a guy with you?”

  “Thanks, Levi, but no. We’ll do this ourselves.”

  “Hey, Levi!” Davy came running out of the barn, Abner on his heels. “Datt wants to know where you got to. Oh.” He skidded to a stop as he saw Rob.

  Abner kept running, throwing himself at Rachel’s knees. “Rachel! I got to turn the switch!”

  “On the milking machine,” Davy explained.

  Rachel made the little boy’s suspenders snap. “Aren’t you the big man.”

  “I am.” Abner puffed out his chest. “Who’s that?” He pointed at Rob.

  “This is my friend Rob. I hope you will like him because I like him a lot.”

  “Okay,” Abner said and ran back to the barn.

  Davy eyed Rob with suspicion.

  “They’re getting married,” Levi told him.

  Davy frowned. “But he’s not Amish.”